The Conversation I Wish More LGBTQ+ Homebuyers Had First
LGBTQ+ mortgage lending should start with the right team. Learn why affirming lenders and real estate professionals matter before home shopping begins.
Many LGBTQ+ Buyers Find the Right Professionals After a Bad Experience
One of the things that has surprised me most during my time in mortgage lending is how many LGBTQ+ clients found me after they had already had a bad experience somewhere else. In many cases, they weren’t originally looking for an LGBTQ+ mortgage company at all. They were simply looking for a lender, and it wasn’t until a conversation left them feeling uncomfortable, dismissed, or misunderstood that they started specifically searching for someone who understood the LGBTQ+ community.
Sometimes the issues were obvious, but more often they weren’t. A lender repeatedly addressed only one partner during conversations, made assumptions about a relationship, or seemed uncomfortable once they realized they weren’t working with a heterosexual couple. More commonly, the borrower couldn’t quite put their finger on the problem. Calls weren’t returned with the same urgency, questions weren’t answered as thoroughly, or one partner seemed to be treated as the decision maker while the other was treated as an afterthought. None of these situations alone necessarily prove discrimination, but when enough people tell similar stories, patterns begin to emerge.
Why LGBTQ+ Homebuyers Still Approach the Process Differently
Unfortunately, those stories aren’t just anecdotal. Research has consistently shown that LGBTQ+ borrowers face unique challenges in the housing market, including higher denial rates and, in some studies, higher borrowing costs despite demonstrating lower default risk.
While progress has certainly been made, many buyers still find themselves wondering whether the professionals they’re working with truly understand them or simply tolerate them.
What makes this frustrating is that many buyers don’t realize they have another option until after they’ve had a negative experience. Over the years, I’ve become convinced that one of the biggest mistakes LGBTQ+ homebuyers make is waiting until after something goes wrong to start looking for affirming professionals and LGBTQ+ lending. Most don’t expect to encounter bias or discomfort during the process, so they focus on finding a house before they’ve thought much about who they want guiding them through the transaction.
Finding the Right Home Starts with Finding the Right Team
That’s one of the reasons I appreciate what Pride Real Estate Connections is building. Their mission recognizes something I’ve believed for a long time: finding the right home starts with finding the right team. Most buyers spend a tremendous amount of time thinking about bedrooms, square footage, neighborhoods, and school districts, but far less time thinking about who will guide them through the process. The reality is that your lender and your real estate agent will influence nearly every major decision you make along the way, which means choosing professionals who understand your goals and your concerns is every bit as important as choosing the property itself.
The lender helps you understand your purchasing power and financing options. The agent helps you navigate the market, identify the right property, and negotiate on your behalf. Both should make you feel informed, respected, and supported from the first conversation through closing day.
Why Pride Lending Was Created
The reason this matters goes beyond representation alone. Every buyer deserves to spend their energy evaluating homes rather than evaluating whether they’re welcome in the room. They should be thinking about floor plans, neighborhoods, commute times, and monthly payments instead of wondering whether assumptions about their relationship are influencing the advice they’re receiving.
That’s exactly why I founded Pride Lending, the first mortgage brokerage created specifically to serve LGBTQ+ homebuyers and homeowners. Over the years, I’ve had the privilege of helping thousands of people navigate the mortgage process, and what I’ve learned is that most buyers aren’t looking for special treatment. They’re looking for competent professionals and an LGBTQ+ lender who communicate clearly, respect their relationships, understand their concerns, and advocate for their success.
Build Your Team Before You Need It
If there’s one conversation I wish more LGBTQ+ homebuyers would have before they start touring homes or filling out loan applications, it’s not a conversation about interest rates, down payments, or credit scores. Those discussions will come soon enough. The conversation I wish they would have first is about who they want on their team, because finding the right professionals from the beginning can make the entire homebuying journey smoother, more successful, and far less stressful than trying to find them after something has already gone wrong.
Before you start touring homes, start with the right team. Take the Pride Real Estate Connections REALTOR® quiz and get matched with an affirming agent who can help you move forward with confidence—an expert who can connect you with the lender who is a fit for your needs.